Hipster football players traded, look for new team-colored scarves

Two professional indie football players were swapped in a trade Thursday involving two first round draft picks and girl jeans. The players were ok with the trade, saying they traded for one another last year in their respective fantasy leagues.

"It's actually pretty def," said Jay Cutler, one of the players no one outside of Denver cares about, "I think despite my lack of facial hair, it's a good deal. I have a stack of underground 70's britpunk and Southern blues LP's, not to mention my closet full of ridiculous black vests, and I think that really upped my trade status."

Adding to the underwhelming nature of the deal it was noted that the trade actually took place last year, but no one noticed until today, including the players. Chicago Bears general manager Jerry Angelo related that he thought of the trade after realizing no one could tell the two quarterbacks apart, what with their unlaced hi-tops, 2 sizes too small leather jackets, shaggy hair and VW vans. "I thought, what the hell? I asked [Cutler's agent] Bus Cook to throw in a case of PBR and we called it a night. We thought someone would have figured it out by now."

Both players spent the day cutting demos in their girlfriend's basements and twittering. "I suppose I'd care more if it really made a difference, you know?" said Kyle Orton, puffing on a menthol, "But I'm busy catching up on my Kurosawa. Lates."