Nope. Not anymore. Not when they can only muster 158 total yards. Yes, you read that correctly, 158 total yards, and just 51 yards passing. Ha! 51. Good grief.
How many first downs did they get, you ask? Four. Four first downs. Way to go wazzoos, you just got spiked on by a J.V. girls volleyball team.
They had 3 more turnovers, making their total 16 through 5 games. Good times. That comes out to 1 every 5 minutes, I believe. Let's start the Wulff watch right about yesterday, shall we? As in, how long before Paul Wulff gets shown the door to the cow paddy with nothing but a big blank spot in his resume?
Monday, October 5, 2009
Broncos, what?
The Broncos, yes, those Broncos, have officially become a team to watch. First the Stokely catch, and now Brandon Marshall's 51 yard TD. You don't see that everyday.
In other news, the Rams still suck.
I'd be writing much more about some of the great games today if I hadn't worked through all of them and started watching highlights at 11:30pm. Oh well. I'll be keeping my eye on the Chargers, Patriots, Ravens, Steelers, Saints, Giants and Colts this season. Really wish I wasn't working every weekend, cuz it promises to be a great year. You know, for teams not named the Seahawks.
In other news, the Rams still suck.
I'd be writing much more about some of the great games today if I hadn't worked through all of them and started watching highlights at 11:30pm. Oh well. I'll be keeping my eye on the Chargers, Patriots, Ravens, Steelers, Saints, Giants and Colts this season. Really wish I wasn't working every weekend, cuz it promises to be a great year. You know, for teams not named the Seahawks.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Things that should have happened...
It's small comfort to say the Huskies could have beaten Notre Damn (yeah, that's an intentional spelling). Considering where they were last year, I should be relatively happy with their performance, but 3 goal line opportunities resulting in only 3 points? Not so much. That game should have been in the bag. We should have beaten them by 2 TD's, even if our defense forgot to tackle on a few plays. It doesn't help to know the refs blew the call on Polk's touchdown, & then blew another on ND's 2 point conversion.
Yes, the team is much better. Yes, Locker is incredibly clutch in the 2 minute offense. Yes, we have an incredibly tough schedule. Sure, sure sure. However, when you let one slip away, all those improvements aren't going to help you sleep at night.
The way this team has been playing, I would expect them to run roughshod over the Pac-10 & get into a bowl game. On the other hand, the way this team has been playing, I would expect them to finish with a sub-500 record.
We'll see.
Yes, the team is much better. Yes, Locker is incredibly clutch in the 2 minute offense. Yes, we have an incredibly tough schedule. Sure, sure sure. However, when you let one slip away, all those improvements aren't going to help you sleep at night.
The way this team has been playing, I would expect them to run roughshod over the Pac-10 & get into a bowl game. On the other hand, the way this team has been playing, I would expect them to finish with a sub-500 record.
We'll see.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Catching up: Can the cougs beat a jv girls volleyball team?
Sorry, dear readers, for the lapse. I was in Canada, getting engaged. This, apparently, is what you do while in Canada.
Back to the cougs. Last week against an actual jv girls volleyball team, Southern Methodist, the cougs had to come from behind in the 4th quarter and pulled out a victory in overtime. So technically, yes, the cougs can beat a j.v.g.v.t. Good job cougs. Barely.
This week against USC, the cougs could not amass more than 6 points, which was 6 better than last year's total. USC is not the same team as last year, but they didn't exactly sweat it out against the wazzus, so this week's summation? WSU can no longer beat a j.v.g.v.t.
Oh, how fleeting this gridiron glory.
Next up, the Ducks, who are most certainly NOT a j.v.g.v.t. At least this year. Should be embarrassing.
Back to the cougs. Last week against an actual jv girls volleyball team, Southern Methodist, the cougs had to come from behind in the 4th quarter and pulled out a victory in overtime. So technically, yes, the cougs can beat a j.v.g.v.t. Good job cougs. Barely.
This week against USC, the cougs could not amass more than 6 points, which was 6 better than last year's total. USC is not the same team as last year, but they didn't exactly sweat it out against the wazzus, so this week's summation? WSU can no longer beat a j.v.g.v.t.
Oh, how fleeting this gridiron glory.
Next up, the Ducks, who are most certainly NOT a j.v.g.v.t. At least this year. Should be embarrassing.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Seahawks eat cupcakes for breakfast
After watching the Hawks opener on tape delay, I'm left with a couple of thoughts. One; things are not all right with Hasselbeck just quite yet, and two; the Rams still suck.
It's as if the Seahawks were a Division 1 football team who scheduled an NAIA school to come to town so they could run up the score, try some things out and generally not be tested at all until conference play started. Woohoo, what a show. Here's to the thought that when the Seahawks play an actual NFL team, they will be ready. It's kind of hard to judge how good the defense is, if the receivers are really that good at getting open, etc. against the inspired play of the St. Louis practice beach volleyball squad.
That being said, I enjoyed the 2nd half very much. If I had just watched only the 2nd half, I probably would have a much higher opinion of the ball club. Not that it matters, as we're still in the NFC West and the Cardinals look like their old selves again and probably won't be making their way to the superbowl.
My prediction after one game? We get 9 wins and a playoff berth. Or maybe more, if everyone stays healthy and Hasselbeck doesn't throw 4 interceptions a game.
Two more notes on the Rams:
It's as if the Seahawks were a Division 1 football team who scheduled an NAIA school to come to town so they could run up the score, try some things out and generally not be tested at all until conference play started. Woohoo, what a show. Here's to the thought that when the Seahawks play an actual NFL team, they will be ready. It's kind of hard to judge how good the defense is, if the receivers are really that good at getting open, etc. against the inspired play of the St. Louis practice beach volleyball squad.
That being said, I enjoyed the 2nd half very much. If I had just watched only the 2nd half, I probably would have a much higher opinion of the ball club. Not that it matters, as we're still in the NFC West and the Cardinals look like their old selves again and probably won't be making their way to the superbowl.
My prediction after one game? We get 9 wins and a playoff berth. Or maybe more, if everyone stays healthy and Hasselbeck doesn't throw 4 interceptions a game.
Two more notes on the Rams:
- Their punter Donnie Jones is a stud. I wish he played for the Huskies. The talent level is probably about the same, so he might not notice.
- For all St. Louis' issues, I feel Greg Easterbrook's football gods will end up rewarding Steve Spagnola for not pansying out and kicking a meaningless field goal at the end of the game just to put a score on the board. He went for it on 4th, and you don't see attitudes like that very often. Hell, that might be the last time you see it from him, but I applaud the attempt.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Sunday morning fb notes
Oh, how I forgot how stupid the talking voices can be. I swear, listening to football commentators can definitely make you more dumber. I would pay darn good money for a t.v. App that allows you to switch from the nationally backwards network spokespersons to the local radio coverage of either team. Either that, or have an alternate channel with articulate commentators that can dispense inside knowledge without using cliches and sounding like news anchors trying to convince us that a rainstorm is a national tragedy. Is that too much to ask?
Speaking of, I heard one announcer in the Broncos/Bengals game say that he wouldn't feel comfortable putting the ball in anyone's hands save for the QB in a 3rd and 2 situation. This was in reference to the wildcat. Really? Because the running back can't handle the ball? Because you wouldn't hand it off in a 3rd and short situation anyway? Good lord. Another genious in the Vikes/Browns game said "Favre is one of the all time great players of all time." Exact words.
Other quick notes:
All for now, as I have to work soon. It's kind of like having to work on Christmas morning, which sucks, but needed if you have bills.
I would also like to have an app which would erase the necessity of having to pay bills.
Speaking of, I heard one announcer in the Broncos/Bengals game say that he wouldn't feel comfortable putting the ball in anyone's hands save for the QB in a 3rd and 2 situation. This was in reference to the wildcat. Really? Because the running back can't handle the ball? Because you wouldn't hand it off in a 3rd and short situation anyway? Good lord. Another genious in the Vikes/Browns game said "Favre is one of the all time great players of all time." Exact words.
Other quick notes:
- The Browns will not win the Superbowl when Eric Mangini can't trust his offense to get 3 yards on 4th down and would rather kick a field goal.
- Braylon Edwards is a stud.
- I hope Brett Favre suffers a season ending injury and goes away forever. Then, and only then will the Vikings be a "superbowl threat." Until then, I feel sorry for their defense, which will have to carry that team.
- Chad Johnson now officially Esteban Ocho Cinco? Awesome.
- Sideline reporters, still superfluous and unnecessary, except for Charissa Thompson, who is superfluous and necessary.
All for now, as I have to work soon. It's kind of like having to work on Christmas morning, which sucks, but needed if you have bills.
I would also like to have an app which would erase the necessity of having to pay bills.
Can the cougars beat a JV girls volleyball team?
I'm going to start a new weekly column titled, "Can the cougars beat a JV girls volleyball team?" where I will pose and try to answer the question, "Can the cougars beat a JV girls volleyball team?"
Tonight, dear reader, the answer is no. Sadly, if you're a cougar fan. Of course, if you are a cougar fan, why are you reading this? I have also determined not to capitalize the word cougar(s) until they show they can beat a JV girls volleyball team, which might be a while.
Today, the cougars came to Qwest to play a Hawaii team that supposedly was one of two possibly winnable games on their schedule. Seriously? The lower-case c's were down 35-6 at the half. The other game is next week against Southern Methodist, who hasn't won a game versus a Pac-10 team since before Methodists were invented.
I made up that last statement because I didn't feel like doing the research. You get the point, though. The cougars are so bad that Ohio State payed them $450,000 to get out of their match so they could play USC, a real college football team. Yes, you read that correctly. OSU payed the wazzus four hundred and fifty thousand American dollars NOT to play them (in real money!), as it would have made the Buckeyes look bad. They probably could have payed in Busch Light and received a satisfactory response.
In effect, the Buckeyes were saying loud and clear that they do not feel the cougars can beat a JV girls volleyball team. If the Buckeyes, a very smart and powerful actual college football team are saying it, I have no alternative but to agree with them. Even though they suck in large bowl games.
Tonight, dear reader, the answer is no. Sadly, if you're a cougar fan. Of course, if you are a cougar fan, why are you reading this? I have also determined not to capitalize the word cougar(s) until they show they can beat a JV girls volleyball team, which might be a while.
Today, the cougars came to Qwest to play a Hawaii team that supposedly was one of two possibly winnable games on their schedule. Seriously? The lower-case c's were down 35-6 at the half. The other game is next week against Southern Methodist, who hasn't won a game versus a Pac-10 team since before Methodists were invented.
I made up that last statement because I didn't feel like doing the research. You get the point, though. The cougars are so bad that Ohio State payed them $450,000 to get out of their match so they could play USC, a real college football team. Yes, you read that correctly. OSU payed the wazzus four hundred and fifty thousand American dollars NOT to play them (in real money!), as it would have made the Buckeyes look bad. They probably could have payed in Busch Light and received a satisfactory response.
In effect, the Buckeyes were saying loud and clear that they do not feel the cougars can beat a JV girls volleyball team. If the Buckeyes, a very smart and powerful actual college football team are saying it, I have no alternative but to agree with them. Even though they suck in large bowl games.
Huskies win! Huskies win! ( for the 1st time in 2 whole years)
Weeeeeeell, things is almost back to normal. The team beat an underdog opponent like a sack of potatoes in a rainstorm, but that hasn't happened in so long I almost forgot what it means. The offense rolled, the defense rolled over, and the special teams rolled around, but we still won handily.
In an odd turn of events, the Purple and Gold were outgained by an opponent, but still won. It appears we outgained an opponent last week, but lost. The Vandals passed all day on the Husky defense, but couldn't score touchdowns until it no longer mattered. Holding the visitors to field goals in the red zone is a positive, for all you half full glassers out there. Getting worked for 349 passing yards is a negative, for all you realists.
Also, it seems to be that our kicker, Mr. Folk, cannot send a kickoff more than 40 yards to save his ever-lovin ass. This will not be effective when playing teams named USC. Last week it was thought his short kickoffs were a strategy to play keep away from one of the fastest dudes in D-1. Either he didn't get the memo that LSU left town, or he sucks. Time will tell. I know how large organizations tend to have inter-departmental communication issues, so we'll see.
The LSU game gave me hope that this team could compete with USC, possibly, possibly even win. I'm semi-crazy that way, and it's been a long time since I've had any happiness in my college football-related life. I overdosed on ridiculousness. After today's performance by the D, I have to say we could possibly, possibly get slaughtered. USC's true frosh QB beating Ohio State in Ohio Stadium tonight did not help my outlook.
What a weird start to the year. After a loss, I get hopeful. After a win, I get not hopeful. Well, not exactly. I still feel this team can post a winning record and get-maybe-to a bowl game. In any case, it will be much more fun to watch than the last 6 nightmarish seasons.
In an odd turn of events, the Purple and Gold were outgained by an opponent, but still won. It appears we outgained an opponent last week, but lost. The Vandals passed all day on the Husky defense, but couldn't score touchdowns until it no longer mattered. Holding the visitors to field goals in the red zone is a positive, for all you half full glassers out there. Getting worked for 349 passing yards is a negative, for all you realists.
Also, it seems to be that our kicker, Mr. Folk, cannot send a kickoff more than 40 yards to save his ever-lovin ass. This will not be effective when playing teams named USC. Last week it was thought his short kickoffs were a strategy to play keep away from one of the fastest dudes in D-1. Either he didn't get the memo that LSU left town, or he sucks. Time will tell. I know how large organizations tend to have inter-departmental communication issues, so we'll see.
The LSU game gave me hope that this team could compete with USC, possibly, possibly even win. I'm semi-crazy that way, and it's been a long time since I've had any happiness in my college football-related life. I overdosed on ridiculousness. After today's performance by the D, I have to say we could possibly, possibly get slaughtered. USC's true frosh QB beating Ohio State in Ohio Stadium tonight did not help my outlook.
What a weird start to the year. After a loss, I get hopeful. After a win, I get not hopeful. Well, not exactly. I still feel this team can post a winning record and get-maybe-to a bowl game. In any case, it will be much more fun to watch than the last 6 nightmarish seasons.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Game stats
The statistical breakdown for the LSU game was impressive for the Dawgs. Impressive because we beat them in every category. Unfortunately every category also includes penalties and turnovers. Here we go:
As you can see, this is a very different team from last year. If it weren't for the turnovers, it could have been a favorable outcome for the Huskies. The stats tell the story, and the story is getting much, much better.
| Team Stat Comparison | ||
 |  | |
| 1st Downs | 17 | 25 |
| Total Yards | 321 | 478 |
| Passing | 172 | 321 |
| Rushing | 149 | 157 |
| Penalties | 3-35 | 11-83 |
| 3rd Down Conversions | 5-10 | 11-19 |
| 4th Down Conversions | 0-0 | 1-1 |
| Turnovers | 1 | 2 |
| Possession | 23:08 | 36:52 |
As you can see, this is a very different team from last year. If it weren't for the turnovers, it could have been a favorable outcome for the Huskies. The stats tell the story, and the story is getting much, much better.
I embrace you, new era.
Couple of thoughts about the LSU game before I pass out. Haven't got the stats yet, but I believe we outgained them. What? Our defense stepped up and shut down a top 15 team? That hasn't happened in a while. I think we rushed for more than 100 yards. That hasn't happened in a while. Our offense converted at least 9 of 11 3rd downs at one point, many of them looooong 3rd downs. That certainly hasn't happened in a while. We looked very, very competitive. That hasn't happened in a while, either.
God bless this new coaching regime, so far.
This Husky team looked infinitely better than the last one, and they're basically the same one. What a difference a staff change can be. Locker was more poised, more accurate, and still broke out some runs. Chris Polk was impressive, as was our defense. The secondary got burned twice, and Locker threw an ill advised pick-6, but other than that and some stupid penalties (and some stupid Pac-10 officiating) it was by all intents and purposes, a success.
Oh, how far the mighty have fallen that I would deem a loss a success. But seriously? A success.
I will go so far as to predict a win v. Idaho next week. Doesn't sound like a stretch.
Also, Nick Holt looks like the the Thing from the Fantastic 4. I like it.
God bless this new coaching regime, so far.
This Husky team looked infinitely better than the last one, and they're basically the same one. What a difference a staff change can be. Locker was more poised, more accurate, and still broke out some runs. Chris Polk was impressive, as was our defense. The secondary got burned twice, and Locker threw an ill advised pick-6, but other than that and some stupid penalties (and some stupid Pac-10 officiating) it was by all intents and purposes, a success.
Oh, how far the mighty have fallen that I would deem a loss a success. But seriously? A success.
I will go so far as to predict a win v. Idaho next week. Doesn't sound like a stretch.
Also, Nick Holt looks like the the Thing from the Fantastic 4. I like it.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Par!
In a shocking twist, the Mariners took 2 of 3 from the visiting 1st place Angels, but still finished -63 in total runs scored. Wait, I'm sorry, it was just -6. I suppose I should be happy they're not 101 games out of first place, but the fact remains that if we had hitters to go along with our pitchers, we'd be making a nice playoff run right about now. I'd also feel better about it if King Felix wasn't planning on leaving at the end of the year.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Money Mariners
Interesting article. Of course, the flip side is that this is the reason the M's are the lowest scoring team in the AL. Great deal, M's! Way to save a dime. You could also look at Beltre's and Silva's contracts, both of whom are getting paid more than Meche. I think that makes it a wash.
Mariners Blog | Mariners were "money" tonight in win over Royals | Seattle Times Newspaper
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Mariners Blog | Mariners were "money" tonight in win over Royals | Seattle Times Newspaper
Posted using ShareThis
Thursday, August 27, 2009
QBU
Great article on the history of Pac-10 schools producing QB's. Yep, we be on top of the list.
Warren Moon, Jake Locker, Washington Huskies, Pac 10 football > Buster Sports
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Warren Moon, Jake Locker, Washington Huskies, Pac 10 football > Buster Sports
Posted using ShareThis
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thanks, but I'm good.
Nothing much has changed in the world of the Mariners, but there was this little tidbit of news today:
"Beltre severely bruised his right testicle when he was hit by a ground ball on Wednesday. He has been told he does not need surgery. Doctors have told him to rest completely for one week before he may slowly resume baseball activities."
This is what I was afraid of every single time someone hit it to me in little league.
I think I'm going to have nightmares about this when I finally go to sleep tonight.
I don't really like you, Adrian Beltre, but l shall lift up your severely bruised testicle in my prayers. I couldn't even write that without flinching. Dag.
Friday, July 24, 2009
-13?
A short message to the Mariners' GM:
What the (*)(*&(*^)!! is it going to take to get some hitters up in this piece? The M's have the 3rd best overall pitching staff in the majors, and the 28th best (worst) offense. Out of 30. With a pitching staff this good, we should be way ahead of everyone else in the division. Instead we have a negative 13 run total. NEGATIVE 13. We just finished a 3 game series in Detroit, winning 2 of 3, and TIED for total runs at 11. The last two wins were 2-1.
I'm not saying it's a bad thing that the M's can win close games, but score some freaking runs already. Pay what you have to pay to bring in some hitters, Mariners GM. Ichiro and Branyon are carrying this team right now, and it aint enough. You really think, Mariners GM, that this team can compete for a playoff spot with teams that can actually put numbers on the board?
Arrgaghg! That's all for now.
What the (*)(*&(*^)!! is it going to take to get some hitters up in this piece? The M's have the 3rd best overall pitching staff in the majors, and the 28th best (worst) offense. Out of 30. With a pitching staff this good, we should be way ahead of everyone else in the division. Instead we have a negative 13 run total. NEGATIVE 13. We just finished a 3 game series in Detroit, winning 2 of 3, and TIED for total runs at 11. The last two wins were 2-1.
I'm not saying it's a bad thing that the M's can win close games, but score some freaking runs already. Pay what you have to pay to bring in some hitters, Mariners GM. Ichiro and Branyon are carrying this team right now, and it aint enough. You really think, Mariners GM, that this team can compete for a playoff spot with teams that can actually put numbers on the board?
Arrgaghg! That's all for now.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Roger Clemens is not smarter than the rock
Growing up, the father of one of my best friends was a basketball and baseball coach, and one of his favorite sayings was, "You have to be smarter than the rock!" I always loved that quip. It's fairly obvious, but when coaching kids bears repeating.
When Roger Clemens went on the radio to speak about his alleged steroid use and reaction to a new book detailing his cheating behavior, he tried to give concrete reasons explaining why he wouldn't/couldn't have taken steroids.
One of the reasons was that heart disease runs in his family. His brother has it, his stepdad died from it, and...wait, what was that? Stepdad?
Oh, Roger. Roger Roger Roger. Apparently he's misremembered that marrying into a family doesn't make you blood relatives. By the way, he sticks with his original assessment that Andy Pettite still misremembers talking about steroids. Dude, seriously. I looked up misremembered on dictionary.com just to see if it existed. Holy oversized head, batman, it does. Seems it originated in the 16th century, and hasn't been used since. I'm guessing RC stumbled onto it trying to sound smart rather than recognizing the correct usage of a verb that popped up in 1525, but that's just my cynical nature. Or not.
Taking into account this is a guy who believes that heart disease runs in his family because his stepdad had it leads me to posit that he couldn't spell misremembers, let alone include it in a sentence that doesn't involve Andy Pettite or waffles; "I misremembered to put on the syrup and my waffles was dry. Like my steroids."
Maybe he thinks that saying something makes it so. If this is the case, he should really start a blog.
When Roger Clemens went on the radio to speak about his alleged steroid use and reaction to a new book detailing his cheating behavior, he tried to give concrete reasons explaining why he wouldn't/couldn't have taken steroids.
One of the reasons was that heart disease runs in his family. His brother has it, his stepdad died from it, and...wait, what was that? Stepdad?
Oh, Roger. Roger Roger Roger. Apparently he's misremembered that marrying into a family doesn't make you blood relatives. By the way, he sticks with his original assessment that Andy Pettite still misremembers talking about steroids. Dude, seriously. I looked up misremembered on dictionary.com just to see if it existed. Holy oversized head, batman, it does. Seems it originated in the 16th century, and hasn't been used since. I'm guessing RC stumbled onto it trying to sound smart rather than recognizing the correct usage of a verb that popped up in 1525, but that's just my cynical nature. Or not.
Taking into account this is a guy who believes that heart disease runs in his family because his stepdad had it leads me to posit that he couldn't spell misremembers, let alone include it in a sentence that doesn't involve Andy Pettite or waffles; "I misremembered to put on the syrup and my waffles was dry. Like my steroids."
Maybe he thinks that saying something makes it so. If this is the case, he should really start a blog.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mine!
Ok, I realize that last post was all on how exciting the Mariners are, how they're going to be fun to watch, how they resemble the 2001 team, blah blah blah, vomit, whoops.
Thanks for nothing, fellas. Ten seconds after my glowing review they decided to stop scoring runs, keep playing Silva and Beltre, and lose 6 straight. They had to come from behind win today just to get back to .500. Hilarious. Now stop with the practical jokes.
Perhaps I was a bit too eager with the praise. I think "starved for good news" was the actual culprit. I want this team to win. Not just play .500 ball, but win. Every game. All the time, for the rest of the season. Go 146-16. I'd be cool with this.
It got me thinking though.
I want the M's to win because I'm selfish. It's all about me in the end. They win, I feel good. They lose, I get mildly put out and grow weary of listening to them on the radio. No matter how old we are, we perceive the world as revolving around us, because really, we are all we know for certain. We can try to sympathize, empathize, supersize with those in our periphery, but if somebody don't treat us right, we get bent out of shape because hey man! it's us you're messing with.
We are ultimately the most important person in our lives. Maybe this changes when you become a parent, but my childhood experience tells me that isn't necessarily the truth. And when I do have kids, I'm gonna let 'em know that if daddy wants a sandwich, you better damn well go get him a sandwich or your self-involved behind might get re-educated on who matters more in this household. End scene.
But I digress. I'm selfish. I want to live in Eureka. Not the town in California. The fictional town with all the cool gadgets and perfect looking people and sheriff Carter. I want a talking house that beers me after a long day of snowboarding and lying on the beach. I want to walk around holding a deceptively tasty warm beverage and take in the sights while no one bothers me, though they eye me envyingly and admire my fashionable taste in fashion. And pecs.
It's not enough that I have a fridge and can put beer, or anything else I want in it just to drink it whenever I feel, I want an intuitive machine that can do it for me. I can't be bothered by the fact that much of the earth's population doesn't even have clean drinking water, let alone electricity. I grew up in America, where I deserve.
And because of this preposterous sense of entitlement, I feel that all my sports teams should win and that I should own a 27 car garage and my own airline instead of being grateful for what I have and all the opportunity in the free world. I am learning to smell the roses/coffee and appreciate all the things that we oftentimes take for granted.
This, however, does not mean that if I was given a choice between living in a smart house in Eureka or keeping my bevy of friends that I would choose you, my loyal reader.
Some lessons you can only take so far.
Thanks for nothing, fellas. Ten seconds after my glowing review they decided to stop scoring runs, keep playing Silva and Beltre, and lose 6 straight. They had to come from behind win today just to get back to .500. Hilarious. Now stop with the practical jokes.
Perhaps I was a bit too eager with the praise. I think "starved for good news" was the actual culprit. I want this team to win. Not just play .500 ball, but win. Every game. All the time, for the rest of the season. Go 146-16. I'd be cool with this.
It got me thinking though.
I want the M's to win because I'm selfish. It's all about me in the end. They win, I feel good. They lose, I get mildly put out and grow weary of listening to them on the radio. No matter how old we are, we perceive the world as revolving around us, because really, we are all we know for certain. We can try to sympathize, empathize, supersize with those in our periphery, but if somebody don't treat us right, we get bent out of shape because hey man! it's us you're messing with.
We are ultimately the most important person in our lives. Maybe this changes when you become a parent, but my childhood experience tells me that isn't necessarily the truth. And when I do have kids, I'm gonna let 'em know that if daddy wants a sandwich, you better damn well go get him a sandwich or your self-involved behind might get re-educated on who matters more in this household. End scene.
But I digress. I'm selfish. I want to live in Eureka. Not the town in California. The fictional town with all the cool gadgets and perfect looking people and sheriff Carter. I want a talking house that beers me after a long day of snowboarding and lying on the beach. I want to walk around holding a deceptively tasty warm beverage and take in the sights while no one bothers me, though they eye me envyingly and admire my fashionable taste in fashion. And pecs.
It's not enough that I have a fridge and can put beer, or anything else I want in it just to drink it whenever I feel, I want an intuitive machine that can do it for me. I can't be bothered by the fact that much of the earth's population doesn't even have clean drinking water, let alone electricity. I grew up in America, where I deserve.
And because of this preposterous sense of entitlement, I feel that all my sports teams should win and that I should own a 27 car garage and my own airline instead of being grateful for what I have and all the opportunity in the free world. I am learning to smell the roses/coffee and appreciate all the things that we oftentimes take for granted.
This, however, does not mean that if I was given a choice between living in a smart house in Eureka or keeping my bevy of friends that I would choose you, my loyal reader.
Some lessons you can only take so far.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Playing with small balls
I am seriously stoked about the professional hometown baseball squad right now. Perhaps because last year was the worst sports year for any city ever, meaning teams in this town can't get any uglier and we no longer have any decent expectations, or perhaps because they're just so darn exciting to watch.
When '09 spring training came to a close, a reporter was asked on the radio what she thought the difference was between last year's and this year's teams. She said the atmosphere in the dugout was poles apart from last year. In '08, the clubhouse tension was so thick you couldn't breath, and nobody, including the players, wanted to be there. This year, she said, people were getting along, having fun, respecting the manager, and learning.
On a side note, we also have Griffey. At the moment, I don't care that his batting average is -24 degrees. He's here, and though it hasn't completely sunk in yet, that's all that matters. Back to the column.
Wakamatsu didn't really spark my fancy when he was hired. I think I missed that announcement altogether actually. By about a month. Hearing him speak on "What we have to change to teach these guys about winning, blah blah blah," wasn't particularly inspiring. Sounded like manager talk, which is short for what had we had been hearing from McLaren, Riggleman, Hargrove, and Melvin.
(Good lord, I actually had to google a historical list of M's managers just to remember Melvin and Riggleman, who was the most recent coach. Dag, these guys were forgettable.)
However, Wakamatsu took this team and got them back to basics. I hate that phrase by the way, and it was one that I felt was overused this spring. But whaddya know, he's motivated them to sacrifice, steal, bunt, and so far, stash their egos. He's got them playing small ball, which was what the 2001 team did so brilliantly, until the playoffs.
Homeruns are cool and all, but they don't hold your attention like small ball does. Getting guys on base however you can and doing any manner of things to advance them is WAY more exciting to me, and it always has been. Even when I played little league. If someone's on, you don't know what the batter is going to do, what the runner is going to do, or what the manager is going to do, but you know with this team that they're going to do something.
That not only keeps fans in a perpetual state of anticipation, it drives the opposition nuts. Certainly the defense isn't lulled to sleep when the M's are at the bat, but they'll sweat through their precious beanies thinking about what's coming next.
And that, to me, is good baseball. Scratch that, it's great baseball.
When '09 spring training came to a close, a reporter was asked on the radio what she thought the difference was between last year's and this year's teams. She said the atmosphere in the dugout was poles apart from last year. In '08, the clubhouse tension was so thick you couldn't breath, and nobody, including the players, wanted to be there. This year, she said, people were getting along, having fun, respecting the manager, and learning.
On a side note, we also have Griffey. At the moment, I don't care that his batting average is -24 degrees. He's here, and though it hasn't completely sunk in yet, that's all that matters. Back to the column.
Wakamatsu didn't really spark my fancy when he was hired. I think I missed that announcement altogether actually. By about a month. Hearing him speak on "What we have to change to teach these guys about winning, blah blah blah," wasn't particularly inspiring. Sounded like manager talk, which is short for what had we had been hearing from McLaren, Riggleman, Hargrove, and Melvin.
(Good lord, I actually had to google a historical list of M's managers just to remember Melvin and Riggleman, who was the most recent coach. Dag, these guys were forgettable.)
However, Wakamatsu took this team and got them back to basics. I hate that phrase by the way, and it was one that I felt was overused this spring. But whaddya know, he's motivated them to sacrifice, steal, bunt, and so far, stash their egos. He's got them playing small ball, which was what the 2001 team did so brilliantly, until the playoffs.
Homeruns are cool and all, but they don't hold your attention like small ball does. Getting guys on base however you can and doing any manner of things to advance them is WAY more exciting to me, and it always has been. Even when I played little league. If someone's on, you don't know what the batter is going to do, what the runner is going to do, or what the manager is going to do, but you know with this team that they're going to do something.
That not only keeps fans in a perpetual state of anticipation, it drives the opposition nuts. Certainly the defense isn't lulled to sleep when the M's are at the bat, but they'll sweat through their precious beanies thinking about what's coming next.
And that, to me, is good baseball. Scratch that, it's great baseball.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Hipster football players traded, look for new team-colored scarves
Two professional indie football players were swapped in a trade Thursday involving two first round draft picks and girl jeans. The players were ok with the trade, saying they traded for one another last year in their respective fantasy leagues."It's actually pretty def," said Jay Cutler, one of the players no one outside of Denver cares about, "I think despite my lack of facial hair, it's a good deal. I have a stack of underground 70's britpunk and Southern blues LP's, not to mention my closet full of ridiculous black vests, and I think that really upped my trade status."
Adding to the underwhelming nature of the deal it was noted that the trade actually took place last year, but no one noticed until today, including the players. Chicago Bears general manager Jerry Angelo related that he thought of the trade after realizing no one could tell the two quarterbacks apart, what with their unlaced hi-tops, 2 sizes too small leather jackets, shaggy hair and VW vans. "I thought, what the hell? I asked [Cutler's agent] Bus Cook to throw in a case of PBR and we called it a night. We thought someone would have figured it out by now."
Both players spent the day cutting demos in their girlfriend's basements and twittering. "I suppose I'd care more if it really made a difference, you know?" said Kyle Orton, puffing on a menthol, "But I'm busy catching up on my Kurosawa. Lates."
Monday, March 23, 2009
Do your things! Do them better!
Aaaaarrgh. Alright, I'm finally at a place where I can talk about the Huskies losing in the 2nd round. A game they should have won. A game they could have won, had a couple of things happened differently.
And by a couple of things, I mean 4.
#1: Justin Dentmon plays. Oh wait, you say he did play? He has 2 steals in the box score to prove it? He played 27 minutes and scored 5 points? Sheer lunacy! In my mind, the most improved player in the Pac-10 didn't even make the bus down to Portland. The first half of the season he's a candidate for P10 POY, and the last bit, most glaringly the NCAA Tourney, he disappears. Disappears! What the eff, man? What was he waiting for? One of 2 senior leaders on the team, and all I can remember is him subbing out periodically and not doing anything. Certainly not taking shots, driving into the lane and creating opportunities, or driving into the lane and taking shots.
This drove me absolutely nuts. The Miss. State game he didn't do anything either, but it wasn't a big deal cuz MISSISSISUSState was in over their heads. It did matter during the P10 tourney, and the Purdue game, when his leadership and shooting could have carried the Huskies into the title game and sweet 16 respectively. Instead, 3 other players made 64 out of 74 total points. 3 people! If he starts shooting, we win! Simple concept! You're not going to play in the NBA dude, so make the most of the time you have left! Shoot the damn ball! Shoot it! Aaaaaarrgh!
#2: REBOUND THE BASKETBALL! REBOUND IT! I must say, I was screaming at the tele every time Purdue blocked out and got the rebound, which was pretty much every time the Huskies shot it in the first half, as their shooting percentage was around -6. So imagine my utter shock when the final box score read Purdue: 34 rebounds, and Washington: 34 rebounds. Wait, that's not the game I remember. We even had 12 offensive rebounds to their 10. Brockman and Pondexter combined for 28 boards between them, which is a win any other night of the week, any place in the country. I think the stat sheet must have read like this: 1st half UW, 0 rebounds, 2nd half UW, 34 rebounds. This brings me to my next point, which is thus:
#3: The tale of 2 halves. In the first half, we were out rebounded, outworked, and outscored. The Dawgs couldn't buy a basket, couldn't grab a carom, couldn't stop the Purdue starters. We were outscored in the paint, for god's sakes. That never happens. All of the stats were slanted Purdue's way, and still I believed we would come back and win, however ugly it might have been. Hell, you saw the AZ State game, yes? Down by 21, the Huskies came back to take the lead! Unfortunately they couldn't hit the broad side of a barn the last 5 minutes of that game, but it showed they weren't talentless quitters.
In the 2nd half, we outscored, out rebounded, and for the most part outworked their guys. Even with the horrible officiating, and by horrible I mean real way bad wrong. The zebras didn't call crap under the basket when our guys got mauled, then called ticky-tack fouls on the perimeter. At least they were consistent, with 3 Purdue guys at 4 fouls apiece by the end of the game. It probably helped us get back in it, to tell the truth.
In the 2nd half we scored 46 points, and lost by 2. That's 4 short of 50! And we still lost. We ended up with a better FG% and lost. Two guys with double-doubles, and still lost. How many other teams out there have had 2 starters hit double-doubles and lost? I haven't done the research, but I'm guessing none. I mean, has that happened to anyone all year? Decade? Whatever.
#4: Martel Webster and Spencer Hawes. Screw you guys, and especially you, Hawes. Had either one of those guys stuck around, I say it's a much different story. Remember the Brockman/Hawes tandem? It was a force to be reckoned with, but more so for the quick bits that showed they could be unstoppable together when healthy. It was a glimpse into a future that could have been. When S.H. jumped ship -in my mind, way too early- for the mad money, that set us back. Brockman didn't have the supporting cast until this year to make the team seriously competitive. Same deal with Webster. Bros before cash, you money grubbing NBA hoes. You heard me.
Hawes even admitted this in a recent interview, saying the Huskies would have won it all this year had he stuck around. Ifs, ands or buts. You can't live what could have been, but you can get seriously upset thinking about it. The only upside to this is that I wouldn't have to kill myself had the Dawgs lost to UConn in the round of 16 again. I think my face would have exploded.
And by a couple of things, I mean 4.
#1: Justin Dentmon plays. Oh wait, you say he did play? He has 2 steals in the box score to prove it? He played 27 minutes and scored 5 points? Sheer lunacy! In my mind, the most improved player in the Pac-10 didn't even make the bus down to Portland. The first half of the season he's a candidate for P10 POY, and the last bit, most glaringly the NCAA Tourney, he disappears. Disappears! What the eff, man? What was he waiting for? One of 2 senior leaders on the team, and all I can remember is him subbing out periodically and not doing anything. Certainly not taking shots, driving into the lane and creating opportunities, or driving into the lane and taking shots.
This drove me absolutely nuts. The Miss. State game he didn't do anything either, but it wasn't a big deal cuz MISSISSISUSState was in over their heads. It did matter during the P10 tourney, and the Purdue game, when his leadership and shooting could have carried the Huskies into the title game and sweet 16 respectively. Instead, 3 other players made 64 out of 74 total points. 3 people! If he starts shooting, we win! Simple concept! You're not going to play in the NBA dude, so make the most of the time you have left! Shoot the damn ball! Shoot it! Aaaaaarrgh!
#2: REBOUND THE BASKETBALL! REBOUND IT! I must say, I was screaming at the tele every time Purdue blocked out and got the rebound, which was pretty much every time the Huskies shot it in the first half, as their shooting percentage was around -6. So imagine my utter shock when the final box score read Purdue: 34 rebounds, and Washington: 34 rebounds. Wait, that's not the game I remember. We even had 12 offensive rebounds to their 10. Brockman and Pondexter combined for 28 boards between them, which is a win any other night of the week, any place in the country. I think the stat sheet must have read like this: 1st half UW, 0 rebounds, 2nd half UW, 34 rebounds. This brings me to my next point, which is thus:
#3: The tale of 2 halves. In the first half, we were out rebounded, outworked, and outscored. The Dawgs couldn't buy a basket, couldn't grab a carom, couldn't stop the Purdue starters. We were outscored in the paint, for god's sakes. That never happens. All of the stats were slanted Purdue's way, and still I believed we would come back and win, however ugly it might have been. Hell, you saw the AZ State game, yes? Down by 21, the Huskies came back to take the lead! Unfortunately they couldn't hit the broad side of a barn the last 5 minutes of that game, but it showed they weren't talentless quitters.
In the 2nd half, we outscored, out rebounded, and for the most part outworked their guys. Even with the horrible officiating, and by horrible I mean real way bad wrong. The zebras didn't call crap under the basket when our guys got mauled, then called ticky-tack fouls on the perimeter. At least they were consistent, with 3 Purdue guys at 4 fouls apiece by the end of the game. It probably helped us get back in it, to tell the truth.
In the 2nd half we scored 46 points, and lost by 2. That's 4 short of 50! And we still lost. We ended up with a better FG% and lost. Two guys with double-doubles, and still lost. How many other teams out there have had 2 starters hit double-doubles and lost? I haven't done the research, but I'm guessing none. I mean, has that happened to anyone all year? Decade? Whatever.
#4: Martel Webster and Spencer Hawes. Screw you guys, and especially you, Hawes. Had either one of those guys stuck around, I say it's a much different story. Remember the Brockman/Hawes tandem? It was a force to be reckoned with, but more so for the quick bits that showed they could be unstoppable together when healthy. It was a glimpse into a future that could have been. When S.H. jumped ship -in my mind, way too early- for the mad money, that set us back. Brockman didn't have the supporting cast until this year to make the team seriously competitive. Same deal with Webster. Bros before cash, you money grubbing NBA hoes. You heard me.
Hawes even admitted this in a recent interview, saying the Huskies would have won it all this year had he stuck around. Ifs, ands or buts. You can't live what could have been, but you can get seriously upset thinking about it. The only upside to this is that I wouldn't have to kill myself had the Dawgs lost to UConn in the round of 16 again. I think my face would have exploded.
Research is for suckers
My bracket this year sucks.
No thanks to Ken Pomeroy, Yahoo, Jeff Sagarin and the many hours I spent staring at RPI's, efficiency ratings and other apparently bogus crap. I knew I was screwed when I woke up Thursday morning to realize my bracket had no real upsets. All the favorites were favored, primarily because their stats were better than the lower seeded teams. Brilliant. Of course, now only the high seeds are left, except for Arizona (Screw you, Arizona!) so I might be ok.
Or I would be, had I not counted on West Virgina to get to the E8, because their stats were so pretty and made me think of unicorns.
I hate on West Virginia, I hate on them. Also on Wake Forest, and AZ State. I would like it to be known that if I were to make hate burgers, I would burn the hate meat, and drown them in hate ketchup and hate secret sauce until you would need a hate bowl just to eat them. Then they would probably give me indigestion and constipation all at the same time. FYI.
Also, I am in last place in a bracket challenge populated with friends and other people who I do not know. It helps me stay up at night thinking about strangers judging me on my sorry-ass bracket choices. I could not run for office with a bracket like this. I could not facebook, myspace, twitter, friendster, IM, gmail, yahoo, AOL, BFF, text, message board, speed date, spam or call anyone with a bracket like this, because I would be rejected based on my poor choices. My bracket children would be taken away, and I would be court-ordered to a rehab facility where I would shave my head, drive into parked cars, flash my punani, and marry a white backup dancer/wannabe rapper with a ridiculous name.
My one glimmer of hope stems from a Yahoo Tourney Pick 'em Scenario Generator that tells me if everything falls into place and all of my teams win from now on out, I will actually be crowned the champion of my bracket and all of the strangers in my bracket group will love me forever and buy all my albums.
Oh, YTPeSG, you wonderful magic gift from fairy land, you bring little tears of basketball joy to the upper part of my face. Tears that blind me to reality and make my bracket all fuzzy looking. I love you, YTPeSG, long time.
But I still hate West Virgina.
No thanks to Ken Pomeroy, Yahoo, Jeff Sagarin and the many hours I spent staring at RPI's, efficiency ratings and other apparently bogus crap. I knew I was screwed when I woke up Thursday morning to realize my bracket had no real upsets. All the favorites were favored, primarily because their stats were better than the lower seeded teams. Brilliant. Of course, now only the high seeds are left, except for Arizona (Screw you, Arizona!) so I might be ok.
Or I would be, had I not counted on West Virgina to get to the E8, because their stats were so pretty and made me think of unicorns.
I hate on West Virginia, I hate on them. Also on Wake Forest, and AZ State. I would like it to be known that if I were to make hate burgers, I would burn the hate meat, and drown them in hate ketchup and hate secret sauce until you would need a hate bowl just to eat them. Then they would probably give me indigestion and constipation all at the same time. FYI.
Also, I am in last place in a bracket challenge populated with friends and other people who I do not know. It helps me stay up at night thinking about strangers judging me on my sorry-ass bracket choices. I could not run for office with a bracket like this. I could not facebook, myspace, twitter, friendster, IM, gmail, yahoo, AOL, BFF, text, message board, speed date, spam or call anyone with a bracket like this, because I would be rejected based on my poor choices. My bracket children would be taken away, and I would be court-ordered to a rehab facility where I would shave my head, drive into parked cars, flash my punani, and marry a white backup dancer/wannabe rapper with a ridiculous name.
My one glimmer of hope stems from a Yahoo Tourney Pick 'em Scenario Generator that tells me if everything falls into place and all of my teams win from now on out, I will actually be crowned the champion of my bracket and all of the strangers in my bracket group will love me forever and buy all my albums.
Oh, YTPeSG, you wonderful magic gift from fairy land, you bring little tears of basketball joy to the upper part of my face. Tears that blind me to reality and make my bracket all fuzzy looking. I love you, YTPeSG, long time.
But I still hate West Virgina.
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