Mine!

Ok, I realize that last post was all on how exciting the Mariners are, how they're going to be fun to watch, how they resemble the 2001 team, blah blah blah, vomit, whoops.

Thanks for nothing, fellas. Ten seconds after my glowing review they decided to stop scoring runs, keep playing Silva and Beltre, and lose 6 straight. They had to come from behind win today just to get back to .500. Hilarious. Now stop with the practical jokes.

Perhaps I was a bit too eager with the praise. I think "starved for good news" was the actual culprit. I want this team to win. Not just play .500 ball, but win. Every game. All the time, for the rest of the season. Go 146-16. I'd be cool with this.

It got me thinking though.

I want the M's to win because I'm selfish. It's all about me in the end. They win, I feel good. They lose, I get mildly put out and grow weary of listening to them on the radio. No matter how old we are, we perceive the world as revolving around us, because really, we are all we know for certain. We can try to sympathize, empathize, supersize with those in our periphery, but if somebody don't treat us right, we get bent out of shape because hey man! it's us you're messing with.

We are ultimately the most important person in our lives. Maybe this changes when you become a parent, but my childhood experience tells me that isn't necessarily the truth. And when I do have kids, I'm gonna let 'em know that if daddy wants a sandwich, you better damn well go get him a sandwich or your self-involved behind might get re-educated on who matters more in this household. End scene.

But I digress. I'm selfish. I want to live in Eureka. Not the town in California. The fictional town with all the cool gadgets and perfect looking people and sheriff Carter. I want a talking house that beers me after a long day of snowboarding and lying on the beach. I want to walk around holding a deceptively tasty warm beverage and take in the sights while no one bothers me, though they eye me envyingly and admire my fashionable taste in fashion. And pecs.

It's not enough that I have a fridge and can put beer, or anything else I want in it just to drink it whenever I feel, I want an intuitive machine that can do it for me. I can't be bothered by the fact that much of the earth's population doesn't even have clean drinking water, let alone electricity. I grew up in America, where I deserve.

And because of this preposterous sense of entitlement, I feel that all my sports teams should win and that I should own a 27 car garage and my own airline instead of being grateful for what I have and all the opportunity in the free world. I am learning to smell the roses/coffee and appreciate all the things that we oftentimes take for granted.

This, however, does not mean that if I was given a choice between living in a smart house in Eureka or keeping my bevy of friends that I would choose you, my loyal reader.

Some lessons you can only take so far.