I'm going to start a new weekly column titled, "Can the cougars beat a JV girls volleyball team?" where I will pose and try to answer the question, "Can the cougars beat a JV girls volleyball team?"
Tonight, dear reader, the answer is no. Sadly, if you're a cougar fan. Of course, if you are a cougar fan, why are you reading this? I have also determined not to capitalize the word cougar(s) until they show they can beat a JV girls volleyball team, which might be a while.
Today, the cougars came to Qwest to play a Hawaii team that supposedly was one of two possibly winnable games on their schedule. Seriously? The lower-case c's were down 35-6 at the half. The other game is next week against Southern Methodist, who hasn't won a game versus a Pac-10 team since before Methodists were invented.
I made up that last statement because I didn't feel like doing the research. You get the point, though. The cougars are so bad that Ohio State payed them $450,000 to get out of their match so they could play USC, a real college football team. Yes, you read that correctly. OSU payed the wazzus four hundred and fifty thousand American dollars NOT to play them (in real money!), as it would have made the Buckeyes look bad. They probably could have payed in Busch Light and received a satisfactory response.
In effect, the Buckeyes were saying loud and clear that they do not feel the cougars can beat a JV girls volleyball team. If the Buckeyes, a very smart and powerful actual college football team are saying it, I have no alternative but to agree with them. Even though they suck in large bowl games.
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